Namely, the secondary school daze from 1988-1991. The original idea for this post of vignettes from that era was actually hatched earlier this year as I sat reminiscing with my ol' friend on my birthday. Till now, I've been wondering where and how I can even begin to start describing this most traumatic period of my life.

I won't name the school here but you can ask me elsewhere if you really want to know. People have been shocked because it's the last place you'd think to find me at. I still have no idea why I picked that institution and now that I think about it, it was quite a feat of naïveté that I didn't know what I was getting myself into. Maybe that's why I've grown up needing to find out everything before I make a decision, following which all manner of preparations would be made.

Shock #1 - A few days before school started, I chopped my waist-length hair off, put away my earrings for 4 years, and made sure my watch had a black strap. I couldn't believe these ridiculous rules. We were definitely off to a bad start.

Shock #2 - Culture shock, mostly. What did I know, I was going to study Higher Chinese. Me, who grew up in an English-speaking household and whom no amount of subsequent private tuition helped - because I simply didn't use the language enough and wasn't really interested in broadening my knowledge in that department at the time. I was so out of my comfort zone; everything was in Chinese from the school song to school motto and common spoken language. Oh, how the Chinese teachers revered the motherland.


Secondary One

A year of discovery and disbelief.

- The physical school was quite decrepit. The older (pre-WWII!) buildings were mostly mildewed and mouldy or rusty and dusty, and we newbies were of course situated at the top of the Hall building where we were initiated into the torturous 4-story climb in narrow, semi-darkness.

- We had to earn our keep by partaking in daily toilet-cleaning and gardening duties. Yes, there was a weekly roster. I was outraged - didn't schools hire cleaners and gardeners?! What this meant was that we had to either get to school earlier to finish the gardening (sweeping up leaves, trimming grass etc) before morning assembly, or that we had to brave the ancient plumbing and practically obsolete sanitation fixtures during recess.

- The school was extraordinarily demanding in terms of academic results. From usually finishing in the top 5 during primary school to getting mediocre grades in most of the 8 subjects we were taking - and in terms of Chinese, barely scraping through - I never felt so incompetent in my life. Reality check.

- I didn't even like Art classes, even though the ang-moh teacher proclaimed I had a good sense of perspective and proportion. How could he tell? I detested drawing, and still do.

- This marked my downward spiral into social oblivion. In primary school, I had actually started to enjoy friends and didn't mind demanding for attention. But here, I actually felt discriminated against by my Sec 1 Chinese teacher :( Maybe she felt I didn't look Chinese enough (and I could tell she had racist tendencies), but obviously I wasn't a star student for her. It didn't help that I was starting to make "enemies" among the student body - till this day I have no idea why they hated me; I certainly never went around making disparaging remarks about people I didn't know.


Secondary Two

A year of denial and rebellion.

- Discipline was tough. You could get caught for rolling up your skirt waistband to make it shorter (although I never did - wasn't it uncomfortable?), or for having too-long hair (a maximum of 3cm below the earlobe was the requirement). Verbal warnings, demerit points. Guess what? I didn't get any of those, but certainly collected a number of threatening glowers by the Bulldog because of the way I wore my hair. The trick, I learnt, was not to make eye contact and basically appear meek and subservient when she was prowling the morning assembly.

- The second year in a row that we were forced to take part in the National Day spectacle; we lower-secondary kids were all automatically drafted into the combined schools' choir. What this translated to was lots of post-lesson and Saturday practice (the entire repertoire included songs in all 4 languages), being toasted under the afternoon sun during rehearsals at the National Stadium (we were forbidden to put up umbrellas or to wear hats of course), and the knowledge that oldies are definitely goodies when it comes to National Day songs.

- I totally cheated for the Home Economics sewing projects. My mother is a much better seamstress than me, plus she's not intimidated by machines.

- Did a science project on the human heart with XT. Geez, that was an eye-opener but it put me off studying Biology fo' reals.

- I learnt how to mix ink and use a Chinese brush on rice paper for calligraphy and painting - although we never really got past bamboo leaves. I loved writing though. My Chinese script was *ahem* arguably best in class. How ironic, eh?

- Annual Sports Day and other similar activities with the neighbouring boys' school was always a dreaded affair because frankly, we couldn't stand them. If it was even possible to find kids nerdier than us, that would be the boys.

- After exams, before the school year officially ended, teachers would take us into the lecture theatres for film screenings. Prime snoozing time, of course. But I recall this particular show involving some sinister nuns that made some kind of impact. I just wish I remember the title.

- I know I hated everything then, and was probably at my very most antisocial, both in school and outside of it. I was completely miserable.


Secondary Three

A year of finding my comfort zone and settling into a routine.

- This is when we were separated into different classes based on what subjects we were going to do at O-levels. It was a good thing I was squeamish because my grades couldn't get me into the triple-science classes (although the interest was there). Academically, it was a mini-rediscovery of sorts: that our annual list of Chinese idioms to memorise was getting harder and more obscure, and gawd, I really hated Physics with a passion. Also, with the change-up of students, I was no longer the worst in class for Chinese.

- One of my favourite subjects was Chemistry. In lab sessions, we got to unmask the formerly-mysterious racks of dark bottles and play with esoteric contraptions :) I will also never forget the time I full-on inhaled a test tube of brown nitrogen dioxide, nor the time one of our experiments involved some ammonium sulphide.

- For one of our science projects, our group had the school specially order some materials (glycerin, soaps and stinky fats like lanolin and beeswax) for us to make our own cosmetics, creams, unguents and detergents. I think we also attempted to manufacture lipstick but were aghast that the only available colour was a bright blood red.

- More choir involvement - this time inter-class competitions. Thanks to the seriousness with which most of us took these events, I still remember every nuance of Brahms' Hungarian Dance No. 5.

- At this point I need to include the sorry fact that our school made it compulsory for each student to watch and review at least 5 different filmstrips every term. Such a tedious task, even worse than the painful Chinese book reviews because one would have to choose what one wishes to view, queue at the library to get the media (assuming it's available) and viewer, find some table with a power socket, pray you didn't get a faulty unit, fiddle with loading the film in, sit through the marginally engaging pieces, then write out the report. It's a wonder why we never devised a secret system for recycling those reports; I think we were all too "honest" for our own good.

- I finally got my act together and obtained a doctor's letter to exempt me from all kinds of strenuous physical activity on account of asthma. Goodbye, annual cross-country race and physical exams.


Secondary Four

A year for goodbyes and good riddances.

- Our Chinese teacher kept drumming it into our heads that we needed to pass Higher Chinese so that we could kiss studying the language goodbye in junior college, as well as something about needing it in order to get into university or something. Needless to say, I was completely smitten with this premise and tried my best to keep up with lessons. I still did not like their method of teaching/study - far too much was invested in memorisation, which I truly suck at.

- Did I mention? I was a librarian. Thought I was so clever to join the only group whose activities were carried out in one of the extremely few airconditioned parts of the school (I believe the library block was the newest around). Duties included handling borrowing and returning of books and aforementioned/accursed filmstrips and viewers, as well as the mind-numbingly boring job of cataloguing newspaper reports. Yes, those were the bad old days before electronica made everything effortless.

- Between falling asleep during Physics and marvelling at how the Chinese teacher's tailored outfits resembled Christmas wrapping paper, we lived and breathed O-level preparation. It was the last hurdle, I couldn't wait to get out of that school. Emancipation was in sight!


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I don't have any fond memories of those unfortunately formative years (lots more unpleasant ones though), other than the fact that I met one of my BFFs there. Everyone else has faded away and we've never kept in touch. The school, which is radically different now, seemed to me to function very much like the government: incredibly strict, but it gets its job done. I also blame my social retardism on it, LOL. I really pretty much just kept to myself a lot. To think that when all the rules encouraged homogeneity (to such an extent that we used to make commie references), some tiny seed of individuality was eventually sown and I would forever hate being and looking the same as everyone else.